Gods & Monsters: Curse of Strahd

Loot and Night Hags
Assault on a burning Windmill

D&D 5th Edition Session 06/29/2016 Gods and Shitty Bartenders -

Previously on Curse of Strahd -

“Wow what a dick”exclaimed the drunk monk as he drank more of the vampire lord’s wine.

“I heard that!” shouted the disembodied voice of Strahd himself- shaking the castle walls as the Drunken Swords adventuring company made its way back to the creepy black carriage. After fighting some tree like zombies called night blights the group searched the grounds for anything the creatures may have stashed.

LOOT -

I awarded previous loot from the wraith / shadow strahd fight from the bondage pit – cool items included a mithral chain shirt and some gold gems.

Also awarded some potions and more coinage from the previous session – keeping it in line with the parties power level.


And now the continuation:

After taking a long rest you began your trek once again through the mountains along the Slavakia Road, it wasn’t long that something rather startling caught your eyes, A windmill off in the distance was in flame – though you couldn’t hear exactly what was going on from the distance you saw it – voices or screams could be heard over a quarter mile away. Hurriedly you ran up the jaunt from the road to where the fire and windmill were, But there was little time to investigate. Strange deformed old women were seen crawling strangely on their hands near the windmill. They cackled at you and warned you to stay away, but among the brimstone and wood embers, you heard children screams coming from the first floor of the windmill.

All of you dove into the fray, immediately attacking the first nighthag you saw. But they proved very powerful.. Gloria and Lisette managed to whittle one of them down while shawn’s character bravely went into the flames and rescued the captured children. The fight nearly going bad for one of the night hag’s – they plane shifted away from the battle – somewhere far from where the PCs were so they could lick their wounds.

Upon investigation into the windmill, you discovered that the night hags were the same ones capturing children or Barovia. Or more to the point – taking children from parents who gave them up so they could get the dream pastries they so much desired. Patries that were made from the bones of children that had souls.

Naturally the kids were grateful to have been rescued and are now accompanying you all down to Vallakia where a large inn and tavern with food and drink are waiting for you. There is a strange festival of sorts being planned soon – it would appear you all have arrived just in time for that….

What you don’t know in character, is that Tony’s group is also in town and will be having hilarity and role playing fun as both groups discover – we are all here. A chance to swap stories and choose new goals next week!

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Blights and Wine

Thought the company stranded in Barovia thought they were coming to find out what stopped the wine from shipping – they instead ended up staring down an army of needle and tree blights with their corrupted druid masters.

As luck would have it, most of their opponents were terrible shots and they survived. They met Davion and his family inside the vineyard house. He spoke about how these druids descended upon his home and family, robbing them of three magical gems, that not only made the wine fresh but spectacularly so, but also poisoned their wine vats as well.

He paid everyone handsomely and even said he would trade in a shipment of wine for some of the family treasure hoard.

Regardless, all of you managed to help repair the vineyard and purify the wine already in stock so that shipments throughout the realm can begin again.

Now heading back to the Blue Inn with a horse drawn cart full of wine, you are likely to be welcomed as heroes – if not for a few days!

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Timid and Extreme

From the Chronicles of the High Lord Inquisitor of C’thulu

AKA I always know what’s best.


Over the River, and Through the Woods*** Part 1

Party appears in the woods near a dirt road.
- Where?! Wolves!
—Everyone except myself hides like a bunch of bitches
-
-Kip plays his actual personification (alignment) and the weather outside is frightful!
@My DEX Save roll is FUCK YOU KIP!@

COMBAT, COMBAT, COMBAT ETC….
- Fiolan rolls a Nat 20 and makes 3 werewolves EXPLODE!
- Fiolan rolls yet another 20 and sets a werewolf on FIRE!!!
- Our Rogue has a slightly inaccurate memory of events!


ALAN’S COCK BARELY FITS IN HIS PANTS!!!*
- and it has 9,999,999,250 XP apparently!


Mystery scrolls remain….mysterious.
Noting that I have a journal supposedly belonging to Strahd, I am resigned to say this handwriting is very shitty

WHAT A TERRIBLE NIGHT FOR A CURSE…..
- Where there’s smoke there’s smoke… cough
- Tent, campfire look to have been abandoned
- Why did this happen? My blood is cursed! I don’t have to do what He says! (Shit on the walls of the tent

OOOOHHH A symbol from a far away land –
Death Reaper identifies it as the crest of the Harpers

Something vexes me to totally annihilate the druid person in our group of merry men….. I choose to not slay him as it will be funnier to do it later…

I have gas – need sleep.

  • IF anyone reads this I will Witch Bolt the fuck out of you
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The Dark & the Light
Chronicles of Fiolin - Super Warlock

Don’t Bring around a Cloud to Rain on MY PARADE!

Fog of War (Kip rolls Slow as Fuck)
Anton Scalia disappears
Ricardo is drunk and falls down
Some Leather boys appear in front of the party
Robert casts badass magic 2 plays creepy music
Alan rolls low then hides

IF ONLY YOU KNEW THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE

Alan casts Burning Cross – and feels White GUILT as a minor action

Robert makes a guys head explode and then makes it unexplode

5 Highwaymen 301 XP 244CP 135EP

Alan tries to pick my pocket and loses some blood

Mysterios Sad Swordsman…..Ghost Dragon?

MTV Cribs: Barovia Edition –
Dragon Statue – collapsed 3rd floor, unkept Yard

“Retrieve my head from the Castle of the Raven and return it to my mansion and all with be as it was before”

Argynvost ?" Hold? (Mike SPEAK UP PLEASE)

Black sarcophagus (wine glasses) Hidden door, wounded Elf (Egbert)

Hey Lets waste spells on this random asshole
Looking for his sister Arabell

Egbert reveals the location of the Amber Temple

A dirty kitchen, a dirtier bedroom, Chapel of Dark Badness, Alan rolls a 20 on his pout check

-End of Log.

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The Brave and the Foolhardy

Making sense of a foreboding place that used to be a place of light made no sense to Deathreaper as he cautiously examined the old torn tapestries that adorned the great hall of this place. Argynvostholt must have been really something in its day. Depictions of grand Knights and fierce weapons were evident throughout the main foyer.

But something had taken hold here – as it has with many places in this accursed realm. It seems though the Knights of the Order of the Silver Dragon were killed, their vow to rid the land of evil was so strong it had turned them into something else: Revenants. Ghost-like vestiges whose memory of their vow was so strong that even in death they could not rest. Thus they became filled with anger and rage that has lasted for a couple centuries.

Being forced to destroy three of them in the chapel was regrettable to the wizard, but he was left with no choice. Deathreaper tried to protect his comrades from giant spiders in a ruined crumbled bedroom on the third floor, only to be chastised by a confused acolyte of something called a C’thulhu. His relationship to Fiolan has never been productive. Actually, he had mused to himself, that a well placed fireball would do wonders for both his sanity and goal of purging evil around him. But as always he acquiesced.

However, his own quandary had to wait, having met a revenant named Sir Godfrey, he now had a more pressing quest to deal with: The restoration of this once bastion for good. Fiolan may be beyond redemption, but for now, he would need the warlock’s help and that of the tiefling if he and the others were to succeed in ultimately destroying Strahd and returning home.

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Strange Bedfellows
From the Chronicles of Fiolin

Who Fucking Cares…

Half the party fucks off, the other half are barely awake.
- Shawn coordinates his wardrobe.

AUTO BATTLE IS BEST BATTLE

Alan drinks the potion, and rips the tree out of the ground , wonders out loud what the point of it all is.
Party heads back to near Vallaki.
Damian @ Winery pays us for 2nd Gem, 330GP, 610EP, with a Potion of Superior Healing and a Potion of Speed.

Party approaches walled village with Abbey of St. Markovia
- Hardly any guards…?
- I say “I DON’T NEED NO FUCKING GATE” and then I fly over the damn gate.
Alan and DM rolling in the Deep :)

Burgermaster 2: The Quickening or The Search for Burger’s Gold or The Wrath of the Burger, or Attack of the Burgers. – ode to Lord Dimity Krezkov

Dumbass escort mission ( I advised against) – oh hey we get ambushed what a fucking surprise
Encounter – Dire Wolves x5, Bandit Gladiator x1
- Kip Spikes the Punch
- DM “allows” some Piercing Damage
- Alan does what he does.
- Kip burns something…
- Shawn deals 1d4 Ego damage
- Alan finally helps out in combat
- I makes wolves go pop!
- Kip can prevent forest fires

Back to the Abbey
- How many gazeebos do you shemales need?
- Alan bullshits his way out of an evil save for trying to DROWN A FUCKING PARTY MEMBER!
- I let Alan live… (For now)

An evil laughter pours out of the Abbey

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Requiem Part I

Having picked up a few more allies on their way to Castle Ravenloft, the party felt more energized than before about their chances of finally ridding themselves and this realm of one dreaded Vampire Lord named Count Strahd.

With thunder and lightning overhead, they once again made their way up a steep mountain path toward the castle battlements and gatehouse. Steep cliffs dropped away from them from either side giving way to vertigo if one looked over the side for very long.

The wind was fierce, and to make matters worse, what began as a dismal light rain became a torrid of water as they reached the entrance and courtyard of the immense Castle Ravenloft. There were no torches lit, that they could see. The only light came from frequent clashes of lightning bursting in the heavens all around them..

As they approached, a familiar fountain they had passed months ago and battled wights near had been filled in – its hidden stairs removed, the statue changed to that of a winged demon, though water still flowed out of it. Undeterred, Villa snuck up to the front double immense doors of the castle and made his way inside the front foyer.

The doors gave way to another small gatehouse of sorts revealing inner doors that snapped open as he and the others came forward. The entry hall beyond revealed four grand marble pillars and frescoes on the way depicting violent imagery. Statues of stone creatures surrounded the hall and torches were mysteriously lit here casting shadows everywhere.

But just as the remaining adventurers entered the halls, the stone statues cracked open showing their true nature – as Gargoyles!

Though greater in number, the gargoyles were no match for seasoned heroes of Barovia! The stone enemies flailed at them without mercy but not doing much in the way of hurting Fiolin and the others. Allura, sizing up the encroaching stone like creatures blasted them to near nothing will a well placed fireball – that shook the entry hall setting three of the creatures on fire! The fighter rushed ahead delivering massive blows obliterating two of the gargoyles – some not reacting fast enough, while Fiolin sends blast after blast of Eldritch arcane energy at them pushing them back against walls and crashing through adjoining doors.

Feeling more confident, the Ranger and others picked them off one by one in the confusion,. A wall of fire burned the remaining few forcing them to retreat to another hallway. But a sleetstorm and spikes awaited them, as they couldn’t stand up long enough to get away, their own doomed sealed.

As the battle ended, the darkness crept back into the castle and storm outside raged on. After investigating a few rooms and corridors, the Lost made their way to a large darkened throne room.

A laugh greeted them as they realized who it was….Strahd himself!!

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"Requiem Part II"
The Heart of the Matter

After the skirmish with Strahd in the throne room, the Lost wasted little time running to the otherside of the castle trying to find a way downstairs. No easy task. Passing through rooms and corridors devoid of light, with the occasional flash of lightning; the party didn’t look at the crazy tapestries adorning the walls as they wound up in a mosaic tiled floor that had a wide staircase going up.

The stairs were marble and remarkably well maintained compared to other portions of the castle. But they were not devoid of life. Near the large landing, at the top, suspended twenty feet in the air, was a large crystalline heart. It had a dark red hue that pulsed to a steady rhythm that filled the souls around it with dread.

Fiolan and Villa wasted no time trying to attack the infernal thing when halberds released from the walls and began flying furiously toward them!

“Whose controlling these weapons trying to skew us!?” Fiolan shouted as he blasted the crystal heart with eldritch energy.

From behind the others still on the stairs offered an uncomfortable discovery, “No one! These are magically controlled constructs! Who knows what manner of mechanism set them against us! But I’d bet the gods that the heart up there has everything to do with it!”

Fiolan didn’t reply, merely rolling his eyes and muttering something about Cthulhu showing know-it-alls what the Abyss looks like he continued blasting anyways as arrows flew past him trying to hit the heart.

Witty banter and sarcasm soon giving way to fear as several vampire spawn came from seemingly no where, Villa moved in to try and confront the new terrors.

“Someone distract them so I can get behind them!” pulling a sword out and running past the warlock who had just taken to the air using a flying broom.

Allura looking admonished moved up to the landing, her hands filled with fire, “Let’s thin the herd first, shall we?”
A pin point of fire left her right hand finally exploding to the right setting on fire two of the undead nightmares and destroying several halberds.

Up above, the pulsating crystal heart began beating faster and faster as its life force was torn away by spell and sword blowing apart into hundreds of fragments. At the same instant, the remaining flying halberds fell to the ground, lifeless and a deafening roar bellowed through the castle from the depths below as if the castle itself was run through by some supernatural spear.

Racing downstairs having destroyed the Heart and the vampire spawn, a shadow demon and Strahd’s longtime ally, a dusk elf, met his end swiftly also, but the darkness did not abate. If anything, Ravenloft seem to become even more foreboding as the walls seem to close in around the heroes, the storm outside raking the roof and windows, and all the while a persistent laugh filling the void, seemingly counting down the very life of the Lost of Barovia itself – counting down to a final confrontation that would rip the very soul of those living inside the walls of this cursed castle!

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